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CONGRATULATIONS! :D
26 Sept 2011
18 Sept 2011
New story, YAYYY
Desswarph rode through the trees, the branches nearly knocking her off her motorbike more than once. She had to swerve to avoid the man standing on the bed of autumn leaves way too calmly. Desswarph turned her bike off beside a massive fallen tree, put its kickstand up and got off. She walked over to the calm man and slapped him across the face with her gloved hand. He didn’t move for a moment, and then turned his head slowly in her direction
“You’re late.” He said. Wow Desswarph thought I’d forgotten how deep his voice was. She grinned.
“Yeah Crimpler I know I’m late, but if you had picked a place to meet with less trees then I wouldn’t have been late.” Desswarph pointed out.
“You still dead?”
“Noooo, someone randomly pulled a cure for vampireness out of thin air in the last three months and I just forgot to tell you.”
“Your mother’s worried sick you know,”
“She can worry all she wants, she’s not my mother. She’s my adoptive mother and you’re my adoptive dad. My parents were killed, burned and thrown into a river during the war with Mevolent; how I survived no one knows, what a fun world we live in!” Desswarph shot him a smile and he slowly started to turn a shade of crimson.
“Do not annoy me girl”
“Annoy you! Ha! If you think that was annoying, you’ve another thing coming!”
“SHUT UP! You came here because I needed to meet with you”
“And yet you haven’t told me WHY you wanted to me meet with you”
“I need your help,”
“I don’t like where this is going.” Desswarph interrupted
“I want you to touch someone.”
“WOAH!!! No way, not a chance. My power is way too dangerous half of the time I can’t control it, Even if I could control it I would never use my power for the likes of you!” She fumed
“Alright” He said lowering his voice “that just means you don’t get the chance to get back at someone who, more than likely hit you a few times in the past” Desswarph arched an eyebrow
“Who?”
“William-Raymond Sanguine.” Desswarph snarled at the name
“I can’t.” She hissed “But you can tell me where he is without you needing my to soak someone’s power from them now cant you?”
“’Fraid not love, I only ever make one offer and you should know that by now after all you did grow up with me as the father figure.”
“Ah you see that’s where everyone goes wrong; I DIDN’T grow up with you as the father figure. I actually knew my dad before he was brutally murdered by none other than Nefarian Serpine, and he was a good man. Don’t you remember? You were on Mevolent side of the war weren’t you? Did you think that I would forget you, did you? I swore to myself when I came back that I would be the one to kill you, now I don’t think your worth the effort but I’m going to do it anyway and you’re going to tell me where Sanguine is through your screams” Desswarph ripped her gloves off and grabbed Crimpler’s face. They both screamed in agony as a gold stream of light flowed from Crimpler into Desswarph. She let go of his face and gasped at her new found powers, whereas Crimpler just fell backwards awkwardly and moaned a little. Desswarph sat herself down in the leaves behind the top of Crimpler’s shaved head.
“Right you can tell me where he is or I can soak you completely and then kill you with your own powers, whichever you find less embarrassing.” She sighed
“Please don’t kill me” Crimpler whimpered
"You sure? Do you really want to have to beg your adopted daughter? I wouldn’t have thought so but there you go everyone’s wrong once and a while. Answer me properly or I will kill you with no hesitation.” Crimpler grumbled something about never wanting kids and nodded.
“He’s supposed to meet with someone this afternoon in the food court at the Liffey Valley Shopping Centre.”
“Liffey Valley, that’s in Clondalkin isn’t it?” Crimpler nodded. “Dammit the sorcerers there hate me, I accidentally broke the ATM machine once, and I don’t even know how to use one of those things. Thank you anyway.” She smiled and put her gloves back on, leaving him on the ground and walking towards her bike. Liffey Valley she thought how am I going to get to the food court, there are way too many people there especiallt after the All Ireland Final today and I cant usually control myself there SOO MANY AWESOME SHOPS!!!!! What would someone like Sanguine be doing in a shopping centre? Probably getting a better look. She giggled to herself as she rode through the trees’ and started on her way to Clondalkin
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Desswarph arrived at Liffey Valley twenty minutes later. She put her bike on its kickstand and wrapped a large linked chain around the back wheel stopping anyone from driving off on her bike. She walked through the main door and went in the direction of the food court passing her favourite shops on the way; Eason’s, Clairs, Schuh, Republic and Office. She sighed and forced herself to move on. By the time Desswarph got to the elevator leading up to the food court she was starting to think it wasn’t worth it. Liffey Valley was big but not that big, she guessed it was all the weaving in and out of crowds that had taken her such a long time getting to the food court but she wasn’t even there yet. Desswarph sighed and squeezed through a group of unhappy Kerry supporters and stepped onto the crammed escalator. She had to look like she was here because she was hungry so she went to the take away called KFC and bought a Zinger Meal. She just managed to get a table and a man with two kids all wearing Dublin jerseys’ scowled at her as he walked past. Desswarph sat at the table for forty minutes until two people stood beside the table with hoods up. Desswarph raised an eyebrow and both people pulled their hoods down at the same time.
“Quinn! NJ!” Desswarph squealed and hugged them both. “Why are you guys here?”
“To keep an eye on you,” Quinnera Elviana replied
“I heard you were in the country so I called Quinn and Natalie Jay to ask them if they wanted to come along in seeing you” NJ Maverick continued “So what you doing here anyway?”
“Oh I heard that Sanguine was supposed to be here so I wanted to hit him a little” Quinn’s phone rang
“That’s Natalie now,” Quinn said and put the phone on loudspeaker. “Hay Natalie where are you?”
“I'm just outside,” came the reply. “Did you guys know that lunatic Sanguine is here? He just walked passed me, crazy huh?”
“Follow him Natalie!” Desswarph said instantly
“Uhh OK but you'll have to tell me why I am now following a madman”
“LATER!! Where are you now?”
“Umm outside a kinda green shop”
“Kodak shop OK, be right down.” Desswarph left the table and ran to the escalator, slid down the moving handrail and jumped off beside Sanguine.
“Uhh hi...” Desswarph snarled at him and pushed him over the rail onto the down escalator following him over. When they got to the ground floor she dragged him out of the shopping centre by the ear. They were outside, alone so she slammed him into the wall. Quinn came out of the automatic doors and pulled Sanguine down an alley beside the shopping centre and kicked him in the groin. NJ came around the corner with a pair of handcuffs in her hand, Natalie following her.
“Four girls, really?” Sanguine whispered through gasps
“Shut up Sanguine.” Desswarph said and stomped on his leg.
“You’re under arrest for countless murders worldwide and we’re going to put you in a cell that you won't be able to get out of, like you did last time Skulduggery put you in custody.” NJ snarled
“Do you have a warrant for that arrest?” Sanguine sneered painfully
“As a matter of fact, yes we do” Natalie replied and punched him in the face “The sanctuary gives every employee an arrest warrant for the most wanted and you’re on the top of the list.” Natalie pulled a piece of paper out of the back pocket of her jeans and waved it at him.
“Shame.” Sanguine muttered and tried to get up but Quinn elbowed him in the side of the face. NJ snapped the handcuffs around Sanguine’s wrists, he sagged being bound from his magic. Desswarph yanked him off the ground.
“Thanks guys,” Desswarph said
“No-prob Dess!” NJ replied taking Sanguine and putting him in a sleeper hold.
“I’ll just stick him in the boot and we can go and have a coffee or something.”
“OK, we’ll be over in Costa”
“Where’s that?”
“Oh, right. Go through those doors and follow the corridor into the main hall, turn right, keep going until the next open space and it should be on your left.”
“See you in five minutes.” They all waved at each other and walked off.
“You’re late.” He said. Wow Desswarph thought I’d forgotten how deep his voice was. She grinned.
“Yeah Crimpler I know I’m late, but if you had picked a place to meet with less trees then I wouldn’t have been late.” Desswarph pointed out.
“You still dead?”
“Noooo, someone randomly pulled a cure for vampireness out of thin air in the last three months and I just forgot to tell you.”
“Your mother’s worried sick you know,”
“She can worry all she wants, she’s not my mother. She’s my adoptive mother and you’re my adoptive dad. My parents were killed, burned and thrown into a river during the war with Mevolent; how I survived no one knows, what a fun world we live in!” Desswarph shot him a smile and he slowly started to turn a shade of crimson.
“Do not annoy me girl”
“Annoy you! Ha! If you think that was annoying, you’ve another thing coming!”
“SHUT UP! You came here because I needed to meet with you”
“And yet you haven’t told me WHY you wanted to me meet with you”
“I need your help,”
“I don’t like where this is going.” Desswarph interrupted
“I want you to touch someone.”
“WOAH!!! No way, not a chance. My power is way too dangerous half of the time I can’t control it, Even if I could control it I would never use my power for the likes of you!” She fumed
“Alright” He said lowering his voice “that just means you don’t get the chance to get back at someone who, more than likely hit you a few times in the past” Desswarph arched an eyebrow
“Who?”
“William-Raymond Sanguine.” Desswarph snarled at the name
“I can’t.” She hissed “But you can tell me where he is without you needing my to soak someone’s power from them now cant you?”
“’Fraid not love, I only ever make one offer and you should know that by now after all you did grow up with me as the father figure.”
“Ah you see that’s where everyone goes wrong; I DIDN’T grow up with you as the father figure. I actually knew my dad before he was brutally murdered by none other than Nefarian Serpine, and he was a good man. Don’t you remember? You were on Mevolent side of the war weren’t you? Did you think that I would forget you, did you? I swore to myself when I came back that I would be the one to kill you, now I don’t think your worth the effort but I’m going to do it anyway and you’re going to tell me where Sanguine is through your screams” Desswarph ripped her gloves off and grabbed Crimpler’s face. They both screamed in agony as a gold stream of light flowed from Crimpler into Desswarph. She let go of his face and gasped at her new found powers, whereas Crimpler just fell backwards awkwardly and moaned a little. Desswarph sat herself down in the leaves behind the top of Crimpler’s shaved head.
“Right you can tell me where he is or I can soak you completely and then kill you with your own powers, whichever you find less embarrassing.” She sighed
“Please don’t kill me” Crimpler whimpered
"You sure? Do you really want to have to beg your adopted daughter? I wouldn’t have thought so but there you go everyone’s wrong once and a while. Answer me properly or I will kill you with no hesitation.” Crimpler grumbled something about never wanting kids and nodded.
“He’s supposed to meet with someone this afternoon in the food court at the Liffey Valley Shopping Centre.”
“Liffey Valley, that’s in Clondalkin isn’t it?” Crimpler nodded. “Dammit the sorcerers there hate me, I accidentally broke the ATM machine once, and I don’t even know how to use one of those things. Thank you anyway.” She smiled and put her gloves back on, leaving him on the ground and walking towards her bike. Liffey Valley she thought how am I going to get to the food court, there are way too many people there especiallt after the All Ireland Final today and I cant usually control myself there SOO MANY AWESOME SHOPS!!!!! What would someone like Sanguine be doing in a shopping centre? Probably getting a better look. She giggled to herself as she rode through the trees’ and started on her way to Clondalkin
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Desswarph arrived at Liffey Valley twenty minutes later. She put her bike on its kickstand and wrapped a large linked chain around the back wheel stopping anyone from driving off on her bike. She walked through the main door and went in the direction of the food court passing her favourite shops on the way; Eason’s, Clairs, Schuh, Republic and Office. She sighed and forced herself to move on. By the time Desswarph got to the elevator leading up to the food court she was starting to think it wasn’t worth it. Liffey Valley was big but not that big, she guessed it was all the weaving in and out of crowds that had taken her such a long time getting to the food court but she wasn’t even there yet. Desswarph sighed and squeezed through a group of unhappy Kerry supporters and stepped onto the crammed escalator. She had to look like she was here because she was hungry so she went to the take away called KFC and bought a Zinger Meal. She just managed to get a table and a man with two kids all wearing Dublin jerseys’ scowled at her as he walked past. Desswarph sat at the table for forty minutes until two people stood beside the table with hoods up. Desswarph raised an eyebrow and both people pulled their hoods down at the same time.
“Quinn! NJ!” Desswarph squealed and hugged them both. “Why are you guys here?”
“To keep an eye on you,” Quinnera Elviana replied
“I heard you were in the country so I called Quinn and Natalie Jay to ask them if they wanted to come along in seeing you” NJ Maverick continued “So what you doing here anyway?”
“Oh I heard that Sanguine was supposed to be here so I wanted to hit him a little” Quinn’s phone rang
“That’s Natalie now,” Quinn said and put the phone on loudspeaker. “Hay Natalie where are you?”
“I'm just outside,” came the reply. “Did you guys know that lunatic Sanguine is here? He just walked passed me, crazy huh?”
“Follow him Natalie!” Desswarph said instantly
“Uhh OK but you'll have to tell me why I am now following a madman”
“LATER!! Where are you now?”
“Umm outside a kinda green shop”
“Kodak shop OK, be right down.” Desswarph left the table and ran to the escalator, slid down the moving handrail and jumped off beside Sanguine.
“Uhh hi...” Desswarph snarled at him and pushed him over the rail onto the down escalator following him over. When they got to the ground floor she dragged him out of the shopping centre by the ear. They were outside, alone so she slammed him into the wall. Quinn came out of the automatic doors and pulled Sanguine down an alley beside the shopping centre and kicked him in the groin. NJ came around the corner with a pair of handcuffs in her hand, Natalie following her.
“Four girls, really?” Sanguine whispered through gasps
“Shut up Sanguine.” Desswarph said and stomped on his leg.
“You’re under arrest for countless murders worldwide and we’re going to put you in a cell that you won't be able to get out of, like you did last time Skulduggery put you in custody.” NJ snarled
“Do you have a warrant for that arrest?” Sanguine sneered painfully
“As a matter of fact, yes we do” Natalie replied and punched him in the face “The sanctuary gives every employee an arrest warrant for the most wanted and you’re on the top of the list.” Natalie pulled a piece of paper out of the back pocket of her jeans and waved it at him.
“Shame.” Sanguine muttered and tried to get up but Quinn elbowed him in the side of the face. NJ snapped the handcuffs around Sanguine’s wrists, he sagged being bound from his magic. Desswarph yanked him off the ground.
“Thanks guys,” Desswarph said
“No-prob Dess!” NJ replied taking Sanguine and putting him in a sleeper hold.
“I’ll just stick him in the boot and we can go and have a coffee or something.”
“OK, we’ll be over in Costa”
“Where’s that?”
“Oh, right. Go through those doors and follow the corridor into the main hall, turn right, keep going until the next open space and it should be on your left.”
“See you in five minutes.” They all waved at each other and walked off.
17 Sept 2011
ALSO FOR YOU DEREK!!!
AND A SPECIAL GUEST APPEARANCE
THE ONE THE ONLY
dun
dun
DUN
dun
dun
dun
dun
DUN
dun
dun
dun
DUN
dun
dun
dun
(When I get back to my Mam's house i'll post the rest of Gordon's house)
FOR YOU DEREK!!!
Front wheel : Left hand side ; rubber
10 Sept 2011
My First Real Post On This Blog
WARNING: DO NOT READ ANY FURTHER IF YOU HAVE NOT READ ‘SKULDUGGERT PLEASANT: DEATH BRINGER’ YET. IT MAY RUIN SOME FUNNY BITS FOR YOU.
She sat.
She could hear the low ticking of her time cage and after a moment that quiet *click* of it unlocking. The click was very quiet but didn’t go unnoticed for a person of her ability. She pushed open the heavy metal door, another good thing about being dead her muscles couldn’t scream at her. She walked through the landing and padded into the bathroom, her pale feet like rocks moving across the ice-cold floor. She turned on the shower and stepped in; within seconds her hair was stuck to the back of her neck. She didn’t need to shower but she enjoyed it, she loved the way the water ran down her body and through the drain below her. Desswarph Cwash stepped out of the shower, back onto the ice-like floor and dried herself with the towel that hung from a bar on the wall. Desswarph looked at the girl staring back at her in the mirror and sighed, she missed being alive, she hadn’t been too young when she died but she wasn’t at all very old either and nowadays she was just so, so pale. She hadn’t wanted the Sanctuary to involve her in something she had nothing to do with; she wasn’t even born when any of this had happened for god’s sake. She dressed in her usual outfit; grey skinny jeans, a waistcoat kind of top, and a leather jacket. Desswarph was about to open the bathroom door when she heard a noise that sounded like it came from the living room. Desswarph crept down the stairs deathly quiet and heard a cupboard door being banged closed. She put her ear to the kitchen door and heard someone on the phone. It sounded like a man, and Desswarph was sure it was when Billy-Ray Sanguine opened the door to find a girl standing in front of him. It took a minute to register who she was and then a white toothed smile broke across his face. Desswarph jumped at him suddenly and they fell to the floor wrestling. Desswarph punched him across the face and he jabbed her in the ribs. She gasped and grabbed her broken rib, flinching as she did. She realised her mistake too late and Sanguine kicked her in the thigh, she hit the kitchen door and collapsed. She managed to turn her head as Sanguine knelt beside her “Desswarph, you don’t mind if I call you Dess do you?” She didn’t answer. “Great! You know why I’m here don’t you? Yeah I figured as much. Look li’l darlin’ I’m here ‘cause you have somethin’ my boss needs, and you know exactly what I’m talkin’ about don’t you?” He pressed his straight razor against her throat and she could just see the initials’ ‘B-R S’ carved into the blade. She didn’t dare swallow just in case. “Yup I got a funny feelin’ that you do. The Mirror Of The Worlds aint that right darlin’? A mirror that allows the person in possession to travel to wherever they want on Earth and wherever they want on the many other planets. Aint that just great? A teleportation devise, and look what we have here.” He reached for the chain that was tied around her neck. She didn’t know what was happening, Desswarph had heard a crash like glass breaking and then a yelp and Sanguine’s blade was gone. She manoeuvred herself over to the nearest chair, less than a mitre away and climbed up onto it. She looked around and saw Sanguine lying unconscious on the floor with Valkyrie Cain putting handcuffs on his wrists and Skulduggery Pleasant standing to her right, his head cocked perfectly and that eyeless gaze upon her “Is it safe?” He asked. She nodded her reply. “How’s your broken rib?” “I guess it’s OK.” He handed her a bandage the size of her outstretched hand. It was a disgusting vomit-carrot colour; apart from that it was a fairly normal looking bandage. He nodded his gleaming skull and picked up his fallen hat off the ground. “It’s designed to heal broken bones,” Valkyrie said joining the short conversation “it was one of Kensepekles inventions before, well you know.” Desswarph sighed and got up wobbling slightly. Skulduggery put a gloved hand out to steady her. “Thanks” She whispered and walked slowly over to the counter “tea?”Desswarph asked while putting the kettle on “No thanks,” Valkyrie continued “were still on an investigation, kinda busy. Thanks anyway” “Right” Valkyrie’s phone rang and she walked out of the room to answer it. Skulduggery started to pick up the glass from the broken window while Desswarph poured the boiled water into her mug, put a spoonful of sugar in it, added the milk and stirred in continuous circles. Valkyrie walked back in “Skulduggery we have to go, Ghastly needs to talk to us in person and he says it’s important” “Right. Sorry about the window Desswarph, I’ll pay to get it fixed.” Desswarph grunted something through a mouthful of tea that sounded like ‘fine with me.’ Desswarph swallowed her tea. “You’d better run along then, you wouldn’t want to be late for a meeting with His Almighty Holiness now would you?” Skulduggery barked a laugh “I agree with you there, His Glorious Magesticness would not be very happy with that.” “Bye Skulduggery, bye Val.” “Bye Dess” Valkyrie said, walking out of the house towards the Bentley and waving. Skulduggery followed her out of the house taking Sanguine with him, unlocked the car and threw him in the boot. He got behind the wheel, started the car and drove off. Desswarph allowed herself to smile for the first time that morning, despite the fact that she was attacked by a man nearly twice her size and set about looking for a plastic bag to cover up the window with.
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